Saving Throws | If you're unmotivated...

Okay, maybe "unmotivated" is an understatement. Maybe you've been laid off unexpectedly and are watching the savings dwindle. Maybe you've been out of work for a while watching the news wondering when things will calm down. Maybe you're employed but feel dissatisfied but also kinda ungrateful because you know things could always be worse...

In my experience, "unmotivated" is too easy a label. We use it to judge others when we don't have any context. And we use it to give ourselves whatever the opposite of a pep-talk is. You know what I mean, the "Mandy, you know what you need to do to get what you want. Stop being lazy" kind of self-talk.

Here's the thing.

Unmotivated = Needs Rest

That foggy, overwhelmed feeling that has you in shut-down mode isn't a character flaw. That’s your brain in survival.

Survival Mode Isn’t Dramatic—It’s Biology

When stress piles up—work pressure, job uncertainty, tough conversations, financial worries, past experiences—your brain doesn’t distinguish between real physical danger and emotional or psychological stress. To your nervous system, stress is stress.

And when your nervous system hits its threshold, it flips into protection mode. It yanks resources away from the fancy parts of your mind (logic, memory, creativity, emotional regulation, the ability to form complete sentences) and throws everything into survival.

This is useful if you’re actually being chased by wildlife. Less useful when you’re just trying to remember your LinkedIn password.

This is why things that feel easy on a normal day feel impossible when you’re overwhelmed.

And if you aren't aware of this biological default, then you start beating yourself up for “not thinking clearly,” even though clear thinking is biologically unavailable in that moment.

You're trying to apply for that job/send that email/cross items off that to-do list. But your brain is like, “We have more important problems. Like not dying.” It can get stuck in short-term mode while you're stressing about long-term things.

You can try to push through, but it’s like trying to run a marathon in quicksand. Everything takes twice the time, twice the energy, and leaves you completely drained because you're fighting your own biology.

So How Do You Signal Safety?

You have to physically show your body that it’s okay to stand down. And that doesn't require you to become a yoga “positive vibes only” wellness influencer who wakes up at 4am to journal. (I mean, unless being that truly is who you are, then breathe on, friend.)

For most of us, signaling safety comes down to personal, simple intentionality.

Move your body (even a tiny bit). A short walk, stretching, shaking out your hands—anything that helps release the fight-or-flight energy sitting in your muscles.

Slow your breathing. Long exhales tell your nervous system the danger has passed. Try a simple 4-6 pattern: inhale for four, exhale for six.

Ground yourself in the present. This can be as simple as saying, “I am not in physical danger,” “I have a job today,” “I am safe in this moment.” It might feel small, but it’s powerful. You’re reminding your brain that the threat is emotional, not physical—and it doesn’t need to send out the cavalry.

Set gentle limits for yourself. Your stressed brain loves a tiny, well-defined plan. For example:

• “I’m going to do 15 minutes of job searching.”
• “I’ll send one email, not fifteen.”
• “I’ll update this one section of my résumé.”

Small, doable containers help you get things done without feeding the overwhelm, preventing that “scrolling for three hours and forgetting to eat” situation we all know too well.

Create micro-moments of calm. I cross-stitch because the sound of the thread being pulled through the fabric is super relaxing for me (and because I can stab something with a needle a thousand times without it being socially unacceptable). What sensory experiences create calm in your body? Go touch grass. Take a long, hot bath. Wrap yourself up in your favorite blanket. Sit on a porch and drink your favorite beverage. These micro-moments tell your system, “See? No bear.”

You Don’t Need to Be Brave All the Time

Many of us are walking around with nervous systems on high alert all the time. We live in a world that demands nonstop courage: economic stress, workplace pressure, hard decisions, nonstop news cycles, giant uncertainties. It’s a lot. More than any one person was built to handle alone.

So if you catch yourself freezing, spiraling, overthinking, or forgetting things you normally know how to do — take a breath.

Your brain isn’t failing you. It’s protecting you.

The first step toward confidence, clarity, and forward movement is not “trying harder.” It’s helping your brain feel safe enough to come back online.

You can thank it, reassure it, and guide it back.

Because the truth is: There is no bear. You’re just a human with a tender nervous system trying to get through a hard moment. And you’re doing beautifully.

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