Saving Throws | Rage Neighbor, or how I made a boundary

So in August we found a broom on our porch. A neighbor had left it with a note that called us names and threatened us if we didn't sweep up after we mowed because he was sick of his dog stepping on the grass. It used several expletives and truly made me feel unsafe.

Our daughter mows. Does she always do a good job? Nah. But I'm raising an adult, not manicuring my lawn, and it's enough to keep the HOA out of our mailbox. (God, I hate them.)

My partner tried to talk to this neighbor... and we ended up having to file a report with the police department. Several others filed with the cops too because you could hear the neighbor ranting at my partner through the walls.

This was literally our first interaction with this neighbor.

And he put a lot of thought into telling us about our yard. He typed up the letter, printed it out, found a broom and tape, walked to our house, and then taped it to the door. That's a lot of effort to make sure one's dog doesn't... step on grass? The house immediately following ours has a wild yard too, so not sure why we got the ominous broom message. (I call "Ominous Broom" as my band name! Also, I wonder what he'll think when he sees the broom in our Halloween decor...)

This incident has past and been handled appropriately by the authorities after our failed attempt to talk to our neighbor. But in case it's not obvious, this story isn't about the yard. It isn't even really about the broom and note (though perhaps there's a lesson in budgeting one's fucks or in that other people aren't thinking of you nearly as much as you think).

What I want to point out in sharing this story is that other people’s perceptions are often more a reflection on them than truly about us. I don't know what Rage Neighbor is working through right now. But it ain't about my family, not really.

And while I try not to take things personally, I don't want to go through anything like this again. I figure I can exert healthy boundaries and recognize that someone's struggle isn't about me. So I made this sign for our door:

I'm debating getting a Spanish sign to put under it that just tells my multilingual neighbors how much I appreciate them being in community with me. You know, for accessibility reasons. 😉

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