Hi Reader,

A coach of coaches reached out to me to share some free advice. I joined their newsletter to see what I could learn from them. Today, that newsletter compared clients to steaks. 🙄

I don't know about you, but I steak my reputation on developing relationships rather than objectifying people. I want to meat people on their level. And offer them the rare opportunity to grow without predatory sales. So I hope you find this newsletter tasteful. 😆

Puns aside, there are some affiliate and product links in this issue. If at any moment, y'all feel like a steak, please call me out.

Critical Recap

• Guidance (job hunting) - why you should save your interview notes
• Saving Throws (wellness) - this framework has done wonders for how my partner and I handle chores.
• Proficiency Check (business acumen) - how corporate goals work
• Loot List (resources) - a recommended booklist, plus a list of ID agencies

Last year I interviewed with a person who didn't bother to read my resume (lied and told me that she never got it), asked unfocused questions, and promised me a follow-up interview when I expressed the need for processing time as an autistic person. (I also figured it would give her time to read my resume).

She rejected me for the role before I ever got that follow-up. 🙄

Running into ableism in interviews suuuuuuucks.

Especially for an internal interview! And this person's boss founded the Disability Employee Resource Group, which was why I felt comfortable outing myself.

And I was disappointed, understandably. Why give me an interview if you weren't going to truly consider me? Still, I responded to the rejection gracefully.​

And then I struggled with whether or not I should share feedback about my experience as a candidate. I've had several internal interviews here, and this is the first time I've felt disrespected afterward. It's not like I wanted to work for this person, so what good would providing feedback really do?

Well... a few months later, I learned that the hiring manager was let go. So now the boss was interviewing. A friend encouraged me to share my experience, so I did. I also added that this was a first at the org, and I would still be happy to return for additional consideration now or in the future.

I fully expected HR to contact me (oh no, is she gonna sue?!).

Instead, I opened my email to find an invitation to interview—that day! 😲 I quickly reviewed the job description and my notes from the previous interviews. We had a lovely conversation about my qualifications and what her team needs.

Ultimately, we both decided it wasn't the right fit for me, but she'd love for me to consider future opportunities to work with her. 😁

I'm grateful to my friend for encouraging me to reach out. It's not every day someone gets the beautiful gift of closure.

From Inbox to Offer, a workshop series The average hiring manager receives 62 business emails a day but only opens 21% of them. It's no wonder your job hunt... Read more Sign me up!

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Saving Throws

"Yeah, sure I'll buy groceries. Will you make a list for me?"

I'd just asked him to take care of the groceries. He'd responded with this question... again. 😒 Luckily, we had already figured out a framework for this conversation!

"No," I said. "A chore includes conception, planning, and executing. I asked you to take care of the groceries, which includes all these steps."

"You're right. I'll take care of it." And since this conversation, I haven't written a grocery list, shopped, or picked up groceries. It's been over three months, y'all!

And it's thanks to these cards.

Let me back up... I cannot stand the grocery store. As an autistic, there are just too many stimuli for me. So much noise, smells, so many bright colors—and on top of all that, there are too many options. With 47 different kinds of peanut butter, breads, meats, rice...how does anyone choose? It's exhausting. I'd rather just not eat.

And when I started being the breadwinner for our household, I just didn't have the bandwidth to manage meal prep, groceries, and making the bacon. (So many puns today... I hope y'all stick around. 😅)

Kris and I had been talking about splitting up household care tasks more equitably, but I kept running into this problem of feeling like the manager delegating tasks and reminding him to do them. So it was practically the same workload. Therapy had been helping some, but it wasn't until I stumbled upon these cards and their framework that it all clicked.

The author of these cards, Eve Rodsky, interviewed thousands of hetero couples to create these cards and often found that the men in the relationship only took part in the Execution portion, leaving a lot of the mental work to their female counterparts.

The basic premise of her work is that each care task has a minimum standard of care (the bare minimum needed so people can function) and the same framework:

• Conception - Hey, we need groceries
• Planning - I'll make a list and decide which store to go to and when to go.
• Execution - I found everything on the list, purchased them, brought them home, and put them away.

This is very project manager-y too, by the way, which is part of why Kris has taken to the cards so well. We took the deck to a restaurant and had a discussion about which cards mattered to us and why and what each task's minimum standard of care was. And then we had a conversation about which of us could take that card for the month.

Now, when either of us has to remind the other, we reference the cards. "We agreed that the minimum standard of care here was...." "I need to have a new card conversation..." "I know this one is my card, but can you take it for the day..."

It's helped our relationship a lot. And no longer having so much on my mental plate has freed me up for other pursuits, like this newsletter. 😁

Proficiency Check

Transitioning teachers are often afraid they'll move from K12 into corporate and have to deal with demanding goals and initiatives. It makes sense. When leaving a toxic workspace with an abusive system, the last thing you want is to move into a new toxic space.

But that hasn't been my experience. Here's a quick excerpt from one of my sessions about corporate goals:

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In my current workplace, we have 3 goals, given to us by our leadership.

Here are last year's:

1. Operational Excellence Everyone: build and deliver high-impact and scalable learning that drives associate engagement, development, and performance by managing projects effectively. (as measured by completion of deadlines, feedback from managers/clients/peers who partner with you and application of standards)
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2. Collaboration: work with others through emotional intelligence, building relationships, delivering value, and collaborating. (as measured by feedback from managers/clients/peers who partner with you)
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3. Program Design: Increase associate capabilities through the design and development of high-impact and scalable learning that drives engagement, development and performance.

Included with these goals was a list of behaviors that exemplify these goals and which behaviors go above and beyond. I used the latter list to angle for a higher bonus this year. (I'll learn about that later this week. 🤞)

On top of my team goals, I had three development goals:

1. Deepen my understanding of the organization's business needs by collaborating with different business units in consulting and/or design projects
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2. Develop others & prevent knowledge silos by mentoring and coaching associates (hey that's what I'm doing here!)
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3. Expand my business acumen and industry knowledge by completing Executive MBA coursework and other professional development opportunities.

Notice how my three goals tie into the team's goals? And notice how all of them are the job? That's on purpose. Unlike teachers, I'm not asked to take on multiple roles. And if I am given responsibilities outside my current role, it's usually because I've asked for a stretch assignment and expressed an interest in learning something new.

Next week I'll share what to do if your organization doesn't give you goals. Spoiler alert, you make them yourself. But I'll go more into detail next week. 😉

Loot List

• ​Saving Throws Booklist - these changed my life. A few of them I've already recommended. And now, if you buy from this list, local bookstores and I will make a little somethin'.😉
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• ​ID Staffing Agencies - a list I found in my drive and added to over the years (had completely forgotten about it until now!). I've removed my job-hunting notes and figured you'd like to see the list too! I'll add to it as I find more recruiting and ID agencies. (Please do not consider this an endorsement of any organization. As this will things, do your own research).

No matter your journey, you deserve a life you want to live, filled with work that you enjoy in a workplace where you thrive. I'm rooting for you! - Mandy ​ma​ndybrownllc.com​ ​Unsubscribe · Preferences​